So just yesterday I made a comment on my blog about being single. Since then I have seen so much love from so many of you, and even saw some blog posts (mainly Allie and Rachael) about being single. I obviously decided to also dedicate a post to singehood.
Here's the deal, I've never really been one to date very much. I've always been a kind of free spirit and definitely have always had the label of "the single friend." But the thing is, I've always been okay with it. I will admit, it can get a little lonely, and I am 100% guilty of making smart ass comments and gagging whenever I see a #wcw or #mcm on any and all social media outlets. Or shoutouts because people are so in love. So sometimes my single envy creeps out a little. But lets be honest here, who's doesn't?!
I like to think that a college degree has made me a little wiser, if not in my field, at least in life. At least that's what I tell myself.. Anyways, I've realized that I've spent way too much of my time trying to make other people happy. Whether its my friends, significant other, family, or strangers, I am consistently trying to earn love and gratitude from them. Of course, I love helping people and its a great passion to have. But when you begin to compromise your happiness and your wellbeing for that of others, is when it is time to reassess.
I have friends who are consistently changing and trying and working to keep people in their lives that don't necessarily deserve to be. I have seen the destruction happen right before my eyes and always swore that I would never be that person. Until I became that person.
I did everything for him. Answer texts right away. Answer phone calls on the second ring. Drop everything to be with him. Did he do any of these things for me? No. So why did I keep trying? I'll tell you what I told my friends: when we're alone, he's the greatest guy in the world and he does genuinely care about me. He just doesn't know how to be that guy and the guy he is with his friends." (uhm if that's not a warning sign, I don't know what is.)
Well, after months of this, I've come to realize one thing: you can't get happiness from others.
And now here I am, falling in love all over again. But this time I'm falling in love with me. I know it is going to be a long process and its not going to be easy. But it's going to be perfect because it's all going to be about me.